Night time conversation with Hulk

So I was talking with my youngest last night about a couple topics.  Here goes the 1st:

Hulk: Mom, I think I have pica.
Mom: Really pica - that's a big deal.  What makes you think you have that?
Hulk: Well, you know I eat things you're not supposed to eat.
Mom: Like what?
Hulk: Cement, pieces of metal, erasers, concrete, and rocks
Mom: Hmmm, why to you think you do that?
Hulk: Because.
Mom: Hmmm, do you think you like to see people react to your eating it?
Hulk: No, that's not it.  I know it's weird and I know I shouldn't eat it.
Mom: Should I take you to the doctor and see what we can find out?  They'll probably need to run  
           some tests and take blood and look at your stomach.
Hulk: Well, if we go through all that and the doctor says nothings wrong, it might be something else
Mom: What would that be?
Hulk: I just get so hungry!
Mom: Really! Why don't you eat something then?
Hulk: Well, you know I don't like breakfast, I'm just not hungry then.  Then by the time I am hungry,
           school has to start.
Mom: Oh, that's not good.
Hulk: Then I hold off and wait and wait, then I get so hungry I just think anything will work to eat.
Mom: What about I talk to the teacher and the nurse and see if we can figure out a time for you to have a snack?
Hulk: Yeah, that's a good idea

Yeah, that is a good idea - good gravy!

Here goes the 2nd conversation (by the way still the same night, also, he's supposed to be going to sleep):

Hulk: I hold my farts at school
Mom: Oh you do, do you?
Hulk: Yeah, but I figured out how to do an SBD (silent but deadly - he as experienced these from his
           mother - for shame)
Mom: How do you do that?
Hulk: When I feel like I'm going to fart, I hold it in for at least a minute, then I slowly let it out a
           little at a time.  Then it doesn't make a noise and no one knows I've farted.  Also, don't fart  
           next to someone you like.
Mom: Wow! Good to know.
Hulk: Except sometimes that doesn't work, but I was on the reading carpet and I slowly farted and the kid behind me said "oh what is that smell" and as he was saying that a kid asked him if he farted and he thought they said did "someone" fart and he said yes.  He got blamed for my fart. {happy diabolical face}
Mom: You got lucky on that one for sure!
Hulk: Yeah, I did!
Mom: Ok, bedtime

The things we learn from our kids!