So as you know my boys are Superheros and are continually righting the wrongs in this world. I was thinking that it may be interesting to put together a script of what their comic book would be. For this to work you will have to bring your imagination to the table since I did not inherit the artistic gene from any of my fabulous family that are so artistically creative. Ok, I can't draw, I mean at all. So I'm going to try to paint you a backdrop with words.
The comic book centers around Captain America and the Incredible Hulk. They are the ultimate superheros. Their world is full of turmoil. Aliens are continually invading and wars break out at every turn. Although the sun may be shining, it is a chaotic world that they live in. Their massive muscular bodies can handle any foe and they have the ability to turn any common object into the exact weapon or vehicle they need to defeat their foes. Since the combat zone is riddled with explosions, they have to yell at the top of their lungs to communicate. Let's focus in on their epic heroism in action...
Captain America: "Hulk we need to move quickly. There is no time to waste. Aliens have landed in the tree and we need to attack now!"
Hulk: "Ok, let's take our rocket blaster. It has fifty hundred missiles attached and it will explode their heads!"
CA: "Good, you push me because I'm the leader"
Hulk: "I pushed you last time!"
CA: "I'm the only one who has the missile launcher code!"
Hulk: "I don't need the codes, I can smash their heads in!"
CA: "Ok, I'll push, but then you have to hold all my weapons"
Hulk: "Let's grab that trailer and attach it to our rocket blaster, it can hold all the weapons"
CA: "How will it stay attached to the rocket blaster?"
Hulk: "I'll hold onto it as you're pushing."
CA: "The aliens are attacking, run and grab my weapons!"
Hulk: "I think water will defeat them, let's get the hose!"
CA: "Mom said we can't use the hose!"
Hulk: "but we have to defeat the aliens, come to this side of the house, she can't see us!"
CA: "Quick run, Mom's coming and the aliens are right beside her!" "Mom, it was Hulk's idea!"
Hulk: "Mom, I needed to wash poop off my foot, and the aliens were coming that's how I got all wet!"
CA: "Run, run, run!!!"
This is a momentary pause in the action where Hulk's pants are changed due to being drenched and the fact that it is 45 degrees outside. Although Hulk can defeat anyone, getting a cold is still possible. Since Mom threatened timeout, defeating the aliens with water is not an option at the moment. Back to the action...
Hulk: "Captain America, those aliens are still in the tree. Get the rocket blaster ship, We need to climb on it to reach those aliens."
CA: "I don't like to be up that high, you know I'm afraid of heights."
Hulk: "It's ok CA, I'll help you. When I was little I was afraid too!"
CA: "I"m not little, I'm just afraid of heights!"
Hulk: "I'll get something that will help us not fall out of the tree. Mom, where's the tape?"
CA: "You go first, I have your back"
Hulk: "All you have to do is swing from this limb, jump up to this one, and OOOWWW! Don't go that way, there's a big man-eating trilobite that will attack you. See it just scraped skin off my leg!"
CA: "OOOHHH, you have blood coming out! Quick you could die if you don't get a bandaid!"
Hulk: "No, no, no it's ok. Just a little blood. Quick use your rockets the aliens are trying to grab my hand. I'm going to fall out of the tree!"
CA: "I got the aliens! YEESSS, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING 'BOUT!!!" "Mom, Hulk fell out of the tree!!"
And so the superheros, Captain America and Incredible Hulk, have once again defeated those foul smelling, slime breathing villians we call aliens. Be sure to look for the next story that has our heros defeating those villians known as, Fairy Princesses.
So that's a short excerpt of their comic book series. I'm never short on breathless fighting and overlooking the precipice of pending doom. It's really quite exciting and I'm always wondering what sort of epic journey the backyard will become.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
My brand of Asperger's
Since this is Autism Awareness month, I thought I would write a little bit about my wonderful boy Captain America. He is such a loving boy with 210% love to give. He has made our lives so much richer by being born. I recently went to hear Jesse Saperstein (what a great experience) talk about his life with Asperger's and it really got me thinking about Captain America and the things that make him unique. Jesse talked about how everyone is different and that there are indicators for Autism but they are all manifested differently. I think that's what makes it so hard for someone who has no idea about Autism (and even for some that do) to figure out how to react. When someone can't physically "see" a disability, it's even harder to have compassion and understanding.
Captain America is the opposite of Rainman. He is very friendly and loves to be around people and be in the middle of everything. He is always trying to be a friend to someone. As a parent the hardest part about that, is to see him get rejected for all his quirks. Until recently, he really had no friends. He has constant "theme music". I call it that because he sings or hums pretty much all the time and the music changes based on what he's doing. If he is out conquering the world or feels overwhelmed, it is rock and roll. If he is super happy he has this sweet melody that really captures people's hearts if they are listening. This "theme music" is hard for a lot of kids to understand. I think they think he's trying to drown out what they have to say, but in reality I think his brain is playing a musical score. I've always wanted to have a musical score for my life. I guess I just have to see if he'll create one for me some day.
So the change came around when he was diagnosed as having both ADHD and Aspergers. They said the ADHD is what was the most problematic for him in school and social settings. Since he couldn't slow his brain down enough to stay in one place, it caused havoc for him to learn reading, writing, and understand social behavior (also Aspergers). We agonized over the suggestion to put him on medication, but thought about all the things he wanted to do but struggled at because of ADHD. The medication has given him a chance to catch up to almost grade level on reading and writing. He is able to slow down enough to start to try to learn the complexities of social interaction (I don't think I do so well with that myself- say what you mean for goodness sake!).
The interesting thing is that he is still Captain America, which is what I was really worried about with medication. I was worried it would change who he was altogether. I like that he is unique. Maybe that sounds weird to those who just want their kids to fit it, but I love that he doesn't understand why someone wouldn't like him. I love that he loves making people laugh (problematic at school because farts are always funny). I love that he has a running list of people in his head who are his friends and who he still needs to win over. I love that he knows he can do anything that he puts his mind to doing. I love that he believes that it is his duty to save mankind. I love that he loves everything about China. I love that he thinks he can make up his own language and that since he has spoken it, I should automatically understand it. I love that his compassion overflows and makes people "have" to at least acknowledge him. I love that he enjoys knowing every detail about something he cares about. No stone unturned with him. What a great person to have in our world today.
I see him working daily to try to understand his world. He is so excited when he recognizes a "feeling" on someone's face. He says, "Mom, that woman on TV is really upset isn't she?" and it's then that I realize that last year he wouldn't have even noticed that. I don't believe that medication did that for him. What I believe is that medication gave him the opportunity to actually slow down to smell the roses that helped him compose his theme song. I'll try to explain a little more. Many people think that because he doesn't react, he hasn't heard or doesn't care, but the truth is while others are taking in portions of their environment, he is taking in all of his environment at once. It all hits him in one big symphony. He hears, sees, smells, and tastes it all at once. I believe this is why he sometimes gets overwhelmed and overexcited. Being able to slow down enough to see the small details in his world is really difficult. He now has that opportunity.
Having said that, Captain America isn't a huge fan of the medication. He gets why he takes it for school and some other activities but really he loves the world in one big blurry chunk. I love him for that too. He likes to negotiate so we agreed that when he doesn't have school he doesn't take the meds. I believe that he should have a say in how his life goes. At 7, the say is a small percentage (or we would have a cannon and a catapult in our backyard) but I'm looking ahead to the day he is able to drive away and I want him to be able to take care of himself.
So life is complicated. We all have our ups and downs. We all have parts of our lives that people, including our family, can't or won't understand. The great thing about having Captain America in my life, is that he has taught me about compromise, compassion, pure joy, unconditional love, determination, negotiation, advocacy, and to just try to stand in someone else's shoes for a minute. As a humans, any of those things can be hard to wrap our mortal arms around and I'm so glad I have Captain America and all my boys to help me work through them everyday.
Captain America is the opposite of Rainman. He is very friendly and loves to be around people and be in the middle of everything. He is always trying to be a friend to someone. As a parent the hardest part about that, is to see him get rejected for all his quirks. Until recently, he really had no friends. He has constant "theme music". I call it that because he sings or hums pretty much all the time and the music changes based on what he's doing. If he is out conquering the world or feels overwhelmed, it is rock and roll. If he is super happy he has this sweet melody that really captures people's hearts if they are listening. This "theme music" is hard for a lot of kids to understand. I think they think he's trying to drown out what they have to say, but in reality I think his brain is playing a musical score. I've always wanted to have a musical score for my life. I guess I just have to see if he'll create one for me some day.
So the change came around when he was diagnosed as having both ADHD and Aspergers. They said the ADHD is what was the most problematic for him in school and social settings. Since he couldn't slow his brain down enough to stay in one place, it caused havoc for him to learn reading, writing, and understand social behavior (also Aspergers). We agonized over the suggestion to put him on medication, but thought about all the things he wanted to do but struggled at because of ADHD. The medication has given him a chance to catch up to almost grade level on reading and writing. He is able to slow down enough to start to try to learn the complexities of social interaction (I don't think I do so well with that myself- say what you mean for goodness sake!).
The interesting thing is that he is still Captain America, which is what I was really worried about with medication. I was worried it would change who he was altogether. I like that he is unique. Maybe that sounds weird to those who just want their kids to fit it, but I love that he doesn't understand why someone wouldn't like him. I love that he loves making people laugh (problematic at school because farts are always funny). I love that he has a running list of people in his head who are his friends and who he still needs to win over. I love that he knows he can do anything that he puts his mind to doing. I love that he believes that it is his duty to save mankind. I love that he loves everything about China. I love that he thinks he can make up his own language and that since he has spoken it, I should automatically understand it. I love that his compassion overflows and makes people "have" to at least acknowledge him. I love that he enjoys knowing every detail about something he cares about. No stone unturned with him. What a great person to have in our world today.
I see him working daily to try to understand his world. He is so excited when he recognizes a "feeling" on someone's face. He says, "Mom, that woman on TV is really upset isn't she?" and it's then that I realize that last year he wouldn't have even noticed that. I don't believe that medication did that for him. What I believe is that medication gave him the opportunity to actually slow down to smell the roses that helped him compose his theme song. I'll try to explain a little more. Many people think that because he doesn't react, he hasn't heard or doesn't care, but the truth is while others are taking in portions of their environment, he is taking in all of his environment at once. It all hits him in one big symphony. He hears, sees, smells, and tastes it all at once. I believe this is why he sometimes gets overwhelmed and overexcited. Being able to slow down enough to see the small details in his world is really difficult. He now has that opportunity.
Having said that, Captain America isn't a huge fan of the medication. He gets why he takes it for school and some other activities but really he loves the world in one big blurry chunk. I love him for that too. He likes to negotiate so we agreed that when he doesn't have school he doesn't take the meds. I believe that he should have a say in how his life goes. At 7, the say is a small percentage (or we would have a cannon and a catapult in our backyard) but I'm looking ahead to the day he is able to drive away and I want him to be able to take care of himself.
So life is complicated. We all have our ups and downs. We all have parts of our lives that people, including our family, can't or won't understand. The great thing about having Captain America in my life, is that he has taught me about compromise, compassion, pure joy, unconditional love, determination, negotiation, advocacy, and to just try to stand in someone else's shoes for a minute. As a humans, any of those things can be hard to wrap our mortal arms around and I'm so glad I have Captain America and all my boys to help me work through them everyday.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Career Choices
How often do we think about what our children are going to become? It seems like all the time. I want my boys to be responsible, productive members of society and so I do my best to help them learn about consequences. They have heard that word many times and often their reply is "No, I don't want there to be consequences!" Yeah, me too, me too. So in my mind, as with probably all caring parents, we have thoughts of what their futures will be. I had a flash this weekend of Incredible Hulk's future and here's a little taste of it.
Incredible Hulk (my youngest) asks, "Mom will you push me in the toy car?" I say, "Sure, get in." This toy car is one of those hard plastic kinds with a roof , a door that opens to get in, a steering wheel, and several other features that make it look like one of those tiny Smart Cars that are out on the road. In theory, this car is propelled by foot power. My boys have figured out how to get around the foot power and go faster. It includes putting your feet up on either side of the steering wheel and have them sticking out the windshield. So really the only thing keeping them from falling through to the bottom is their narrow behinds and their hands on the steering wheel. Ok, that's something I would have done as a kid. Here's where it goes past something I would have tried as a kid (today there's no way one of my legs could fit into that thing much less my "narrow" behind). As I'm jogging while pushing this toy car, Hulk says to me, "Keep it straight Mom", ok not too hard, and he bails out of the car while it's in motion! He does the tuck and roll like he's been doing this all his life (all 4 almost 5 years of it)! It makes me laugh so hard I have to stop the car but Hulk is yelling at me, "Keep it straight Mom, I'm going to jump back in!" I just couldn't keep going. I was giggling too hard. Hulk thinks I'm funny and starts laughing too. After I get control of myself, at the insistence of Hulk, I get moving again being sure, with his prompting, to "Keep 'er straight." He seemed like an expert. He knew the best speed to roll out of the car while curling up into this cute ball and just how to scrunch his body up to get into the car's tiny opening, of course, while it was moving.
So it occurs to me, is this my glimpse into what he's going to be doing for a living? Will I have a stuntman for a son? He always seems to be attempting some climbing, jumping, running, moving feat that requires some calculated (or not so calculated) risk. I think he would be a great stuntman. Would I be a bad Mom to encourage it? I've decided no. That may make me a lunatic, but what kind of Mom would I be if I don't recognize his talents? This doesn't mean I'm going right out to sign him up for stunt school. Do they have those? What it does mean is when he comes to me and asks me for various supplies like large suction cups, tape, and some string (he has asked for those things to climb the wall). I will be sure to point out some physics such as his weight and how large the suction cups would need to be.
So bottom line for me is, being a Mom of my boys means understanding their talents and having the courage to enjoy and encourage their ideas. Whew! this is the hardest and scariest thing I've ever done. Wish me luck, because the world needs stuntman!
Incredible Hulk (my youngest) asks, "Mom will you push me in the toy car?" I say, "Sure, get in." This toy car is one of those hard plastic kinds with a roof , a door that opens to get in, a steering wheel, and several other features that make it look like one of those tiny Smart Cars that are out on the road. In theory, this car is propelled by foot power. My boys have figured out how to get around the foot power and go faster. It includes putting your feet up on either side of the steering wheel and have them sticking out the windshield. So really the only thing keeping them from falling through to the bottom is their narrow behinds and their hands on the steering wheel. Ok, that's something I would have done as a kid. Here's where it goes past something I would have tried as a kid (today there's no way one of my legs could fit into that thing much less my "narrow" behind). As I'm jogging while pushing this toy car, Hulk says to me, "Keep it straight Mom", ok not too hard, and he bails out of the car while it's in motion! He does the tuck and roll like he's been doing this all his life (all 4 almost 5 years of it)! It makes me laugh so hard I have to stop the car but Hulk is yelling at me, "Keep it straight Mom, I'm going to jump back in!" I just couldn't keep going. I was giggling too hard. Hulk thinks I'm funny and starts laughing too. After I get control of myself, at the insistence of Hulk, I get moving again being sure, with his prompting, to "Keep 'er straight." He seemed like an expert. He knew the best speed to roll out of the car while curling up into this cute ball and just how to scrunch his body up to get into the car's tiny opening, of course, while it was moving.
So it occurs to me, is this my glimpse into what he's going to be doing for a living? Will I have a stuntman for a son? He always seems to be attempting some climbing, jumping, running, moving feat that requires some calculated (or not so calculated) risk. I think he would be a great stuntman. Would I be a bad Mom to encourage it? I've decided no. That may make me a lunatic, but what kind of Mom would I be if I don't recognize his talents? This doesn't mean I'm going right out to sign him up for stunt school. Do they have those? What it does mean is when he comes to me and asks me for various supplies like large suction cups, tape, and some string (he has asked for those things to climb the wall). I will be sure to point out some physics such as his weight and how large the suction cups would need to be.
So bottom line for me is, being a Mom of my boys means understanding their talents and having the courage to enjoy and encourage their ideas. Whew! this is the hardest and scariest thing I've ever done. Wish me luck, because the world needs stuntman!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Split Personality
So I've been thinking about how often I am at war with myself. I am undoubtedly a Mom, but I am also a fun loving person that loves to have adventures. It does work out really well to have two rowdy boys. These two things about me are often in conflict with each other. On the one hand I must keep my super heros safe and keep a handle on the chaos. On the other hand I love to see their faces when a new adventure is about to happen. So I always have a running list of the things I will need "in case", so we can have the best time say for example playing in the mud with a stick. This means the list would look like this:
Anyway, this really all leads to the brilliant idea I had this weekend. I would like to preface this by saying that I may have not been at my optimum strength and risk management capabilities. The boys got some money from their Aunt G (who always makes the boys feel special) and it was burning a hole in Captain America's pocket. I'm saying that because Hulk had to be convinced to take his money. He's perfectly fine with everyone else buying things for him. He likes his money in the bank (not bad for a kid who's 4 almost 5). We went to an outdoors store with Batman's Mom and Dad. Guess what Captain America had his mind set to buy? I know many things may be running through your head but I'll keep suspense out of this. A bow and arrow(s)! Batman's Mom did her best to stop this thinking by not being able to "find" an appropriate bow for his age (i.e. one without really sharp points) but I being the "Adventurer" at the time turned right around a found one. We not only found one for Captain America but the Hulk got one too (he thought that was definitely worth spending HIS money on)! For the love of humanity have I lost my mind? Clearly "Mom" thinking was not involved in this process at all! So as you can imagine my list has just gotten longer. Where is the closest ER? I will post about the bow and arrow adventures another time when I have recovered from the shock of it all. I will just say that thankfully as of this moment no one has gone to the ER.
- Change of clothes for when playing in the mud with a stick is no longer fun; not to mention thinking about what pair of shoes they should have on first - Thank God for the invention of crocks
- Supply of water for thirsty boys but also if there needs to be more mud
- Tool for fashioning a really good stick or for turning a sharp one into a "safe" one
- Snacks for replenishing and a bribe to stop the playing in the mud
- Band-aids and ointment - you know that the odds of playing in mud with a stick with two boys and one being the older brother and one being the younger brother that there will be blood shed. If you don't know this by now, I suggest never taking them outside or really letting them play together. (as an after thought - maybe it's just my boys)
- Camera or phone so that those very cute faces can be photographed for future display and coercion. I have to admit I am really bad with remembering this one
Anyway, this really all leads to the brilliant idea I had this weekend. I would like to preface this by saying that I may have not been at my optimum strength and risk management capabilities. The boys got some money from their Aunt G (who always makes the boys feel special) and it was burning a hole in Captain America's pocket. I'm saying that because Hulk had to be convinced to take his money. He's perfectly fine with everyone else buying things for him. He likes his money in the bank (not bad for a kid who's 4 almost 5). We went to an outdoors store with Batman's Mom and Dad. Guess what Captain America had his mind set to buy? I know many things may be running through your head but I'll keep suspense out of this. A bow and arrow(s)! Batman's Mom did her best to stop this thinking by not being able to "find" an appropriate bow for his age (i.e. one without really sharp points) but I being the "Adventurer" at the time turned right around a found one. We not only found one for Captain America but the Hulk got one too (he thought that was definitely worth spending HIS money on)! For the love of humanity have I lost my mind? Clearly "Mom" thinking was not involved in this process at all! So as you can imagine my list has just gotten longer. Where is the closest ER? I will post about the bow and arrow adventures another time when I have recovered from the shock of it all. I will just say that thankfully as of this moment no one has gone to the ER.
Friday, April 6, 2012
The Start
I've been meaning to start a blog for a long time. I decided that it was time to write down some of the funny, hard, mundane, tragic, and down right "This has to be written down somewhere" moments our family has with each other.
There are times like yesterday when the Incredible Hulk (youngest son for those that haven't read my profile yet) decided that walking the 100ft. to the house was too much for a potty break. The tree was way more convenient. He also may have been helping the tree who knows (this is how he thinks). So out of my mouth comes, "Hulk, come in the house and have double time out, you know you have been told that peeing outside is only for camping or when no bathroom is available."
So here are the things that have occurred to me:
There are times like yesterday when the Incredible Hulk (youngest son for those that haven't read my profile yet) decided that walking the 100ft. to the house was too much for a potty break. The tree was way more convenient. He also may have been helping the tree who knows (this is how he thinks). So out of my mouth comes, "Hulk, come in the house and have double time out, you know you have been told that peeing outside is only for camping or when no bathroom is available."
So here are the things that have occurred to me:
- I don't think 10 years ago I would have even imagined that those words would have come out of my mouth
- Notice he's been warned before so this is not a new issue
- Why am I punishing him for having solutions to his problems? It's more than our own government is doing. Maybe he can be a future government leader - too forward thinking? Ok
- I wish I could pee outside when I couldn't hold it any longer and get away with it (not the cute little kid I once was)
- I wonder how many times he has gone and not got caught?
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